We
have two versions of a famous story.
The Old Version:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and saving
up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and
laughs and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so
he dies out in the cold.
The moral of the story: Be responsible for
yourself!
The 2008 Version:
The ant works hard in the
withering heat all summer long, building his
house and saving up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and
laughs and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls
a press conference and demands to know why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and
well fed while others are cold and
starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in
his comfortable home with a table filled
with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so?
Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody cries when they
sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
front of the ant's' house where the news
stations film the group singing, 'We shall
overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel
down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an
interview with Larry King that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the Grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on
the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Hillary and Barack go on national television
agreeing that the plight of the grasshopper
is the fault of George Bush.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity
& Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the
beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.
Obama gets his old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the
ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed
from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of the ant's food
while the government house he is in, which
just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow never to
be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug
related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of
spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
The moral of the story: Be careful who you
vote for...









